(Read more stories about freedom from addiction) I am thankful to be able to help others in the same situation and watch them fall in love with Jesus and find freedom. My mom and I are closer than ever and she is now a strong believer, and I rejoice that one day I will see my dad again. God restored all I lost, including marriage to Steve for 10 years. I have been free from drugs for over 12 years and have no desire for them. So six years into my addiction, the Lord delivered me from hopelessness to a life of great joy! I recognized addiction not as a disease or something I had to live with but instead sin which had already been handled at the cross. The Holy Spirit began to transform me, giving me new desires and new power. I fell so in love with Jesus and my faith grew. I saturated my mind in His word, learning the truth about my identity as a new creation in Christ. With the freedom to come to Him while entangled in my addiction, He healed me from the inside out. And in that moment God revealed to me His grace: Jesus did die to save me from drugs. I knew that if my dad could have died to save me from drugs, he absolutely would have. I realized God loved me unconditionally just like my dad. I did so for over a year and an amazing thing happened. Without making promises to God or feeling like I needed to perform, I approached God with a meth pipe in one hand and a Bible in the other. My friend told me about a Christian radio station and I began to listen. I assumed the people who went to church were perfect and certainly wouldn’t accept me as a drug user. She invited me to church but I didn’t see the relevance of church. Thirsty for God’s mercy I soaked in her words. She comforted me in my grief and talked about Jesus. And it turned out to be exactly what God wanted.Ī wonderful Christian friend whom I had done drugs with loved me without judgment. If I couldn’t get clean when life’s problems didn’t include death, there seemed no way I could do so now. I told God I would NEVER get clean, knowing it would be too painful to live drug free with the loss and regret. As daddy’s little girl, he loved me unconditionally and I couldn’t fathom life without him. When I received the call it seemed as if my heart was ripped out of my chest. But before I could, my dad unexpectedly died of heart failure at 54 years old. I decided my next move would be to confess to my dad and ask for help. After a year and a half, I returned home broken and homeless. Three weeks in my new locale I went right back to the drugs which led to our break up. I also thought the love I had for Steve would satisfy me. I thought the move would not only clean me up but make me acceptable to God. I also fell in love with a musician named Steve who lived in another state, convincing him that if I just left my environment I could get clean. In my attempt to clean myself up I sold my assets. I wrongly believed God expected me just to try harder and clean myself up. My entire life I gained significance as an overachiever, feeling accepted because of my performance. I wanted my life back but every time I tried to quit the depression became so extreme I would go back to the drug for relief. Exhausted and guilty, I hated being dependent on a drug for my happiness. In my years as a drug addict I lost my home, my cars, and honest relationships with my familyĪfter a few years as a functional drug addict, I began to cry out to the Lord. Somewhere along the way, it became a necessity and a living hell. I progressed from a recreational drug and alcohol user for 13 years to a daily user of methamphetamine for another 6 years. Always the risk taker looking for fun, I saw no reason not to experiment with drugs. Then in the blink of an eye my life fell apart. As a highly productive twenty something year old I had a house, a boat, lots of friends, a loving family, and a great job.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |